Gifts, hoping and waiting

Dec. 28, 2008

My excellent pastor here in VA is two for two with his homilies on Christmas Eve and the Feast of the Holy Family. Although I am still homesick for TN, I have to admit that the pastor here is wonderful and the church is absolutely beautiful.
On Christmas Eve, in a packed church where seating was, shall we say, competitive, he talked about gifts. The difference between gifts and rewards is that gifts, of course, do not need to be earned. And in Christ we have the gift of God's pure love. But then he also talked about how sometimes we can be disappointed by gifts and added that sometimes children and grownups can focus more on life's disappointments than all of the wonderful gifts we receive from God, such as peace, love joy, etc. I wonder if he chose to mention that because he had spent the previous two evenings offering extra hours of confessions for the last-chancers among us. Anyway, it was spot on, for me at least.
And today, he spoke of the Holy Family and our own families. And he said that we all hope, in our earthly families, that each person reaches the potential that God has for us in this world. We hope that, we pray that and then we wait. Again, perfect homily for me to hear on this day as we prepare to begin a new year and we wait and hope to hear about hubby's potential new job or anything else for that matter.

St. Therese of Lisieux

Dec. 24, 2008

Just a little Christmas Eve blogging here. I found a wonderful book for my daughter and I hope she likes it. It is called Olivia and the Little Way. I am a sponsor of Little Flowers Catholic Girls Club, which is a sort of Catholic, virtue-based type of Girl Scouts based on learning about the saints. The girls especially try to model themselves on St. Therese, the Little Flower. But they earn nine virtue petals per wreath for learning about a saint and the virtue and doing certain activities.

I happen to love St. Therese, myself, and have read her Story of a Soul several times. But this little book was written by a Catholic mom of boys who loves St. Therese and it is all about a little girl named Olivia who moves from Texas to Michigan and all of the adventures and trials she finds there. Thanks to her grandmother, she tries to handle these things by putting into practice the attitudes of St. Therese and doing little things with great love, rather than great things. But it is told pretty true to a kid's point of view so I hope my daughter, also named Olivia, will like it. I'll find out tomorrow. She asked for a Calvin and Hobbes book, so I hope she won't be terribly disappointed. I'm sure the skateboard will dispel any momentary disappointment she may feel:) and perhaps she'll give the book a chance.

Merry Christmas!

And another day

Dec. 8, 2008
The best part of today was going to Mass for Immaculate Conception. The church was beautiful and the priest was on target. Although Mary was conceived without sin, he said, her life was never any easier than ours is. After all, our Baptism washes away our original sin and we have all of the opportunities to receive God's grace in the sacraments. We can look to Mary as our model in saying "Yes" to God.
I know I receive God's grace, but I would love to receive some of his wisdom!
I am in a quandry. My husband's job goes from bad to worse. It pays well, yes, but the stress is tremendous and he is as unhappy as I've ever seen him. His only happiness is us - and food! And I am thinking of going back to work to lighten the financial load on him and allow him to take something less stressful. But I don't know what it would be as his job is so specialized. And I'm in that quandry. This is our third year of homeschooling and I don't want to just throw the kids back into school. And I'm not sure I would send them to public school - although would save money.
So, I don't know what to do and I need some guidance. Perhaps I will look to Mary and the book of Proverbs for that. I am extremely grateful to be a Catholic and to know that I have so many sources of guidance.

still grateful

Dec. 5, 2008

I'm still grateful, in spite of the terrible news of layoffs today. What I am most grateful for is that my husband still has a job, although it is a very stressful one. I would be glad and grateful to go back to work myself to relieve some of this stress.

That said, I'm still grateful to still be able to homeschool my children. I see progress! I see a kid who can add, subtract, divide and multiply well. The same kid, after first grade, could not count back from 20. Just two years and a few months later, she has made tremendous progress.

I was grateful on Wednesday to be able to make cookies with my kids and practice the songs they will sing as part of the Christmas Choir for the Christmas Eve family Mass at our VA church.

And I'm grateful to have insurance that allows my husband to get a cardiology workup that shows he is in good shape. I am grateful to get flu shots for the kids and an eye exam for myself.
I am grateful to be finishing up the last of my Thanksgiving leftovers (more soup). And I'm grateful that I have discovered a Save-A-Lot in this VA town. We had one so close in our Tenn. home.

Obviously, I'm focused on finances. But I am grateful for other things as well. I am especially glad my 7-year-old son will receive his first Sacrament of Reconciliation tomorrow and that I will participate in the service by leading the Rosary for those waiting in the Church. We have more than 50 kids making First Reconciliation. Still getting used to the big church:).

God bless you all this season.

More thanks

Nov. 29, 2008

More things for which to be thankful:

Eggnog
The fact that Eggnog is not sold year-round (I love it!)
My old exercise bike
Walking with my sister-in-law over the holidays
A beautiful fall day in VA
My son's upcoming First Reconciliation (next Saturday)
Prayer and especially the Rosary'

Nov. 27, 2008

Thanksgiving

So many things to be grateful for this day.
Waaay too much food.
My family and their health
Visiting family
the Catholic Faith
Beautiful weather
Time for Leisure
Time for Work
Time for Prayer
Christmas Music
The Rosary
Coffee
Not so very profound. Maybe I don't need to be. Perhaps I should resume this blog just to write down a few things to be grateful for every day.

And so on....

Oct. 3, 2008

So I haven't written for a really long time now, and we have really just had a lot going on. Difficult job, the long-term craziness of moving. Finally getting settled after a year here. Actually, Oct.1 was the anniversary of our baptismal flood here at the house, which welcomed me to SW VA and left me without a kitchen floor for two months. Ironically, that is the feast of St. Therese, the Little Flower.
So here is a question, if there are any actual readers out there: Is it possible to be a good Catholic and vote for Obama? I mean, yes, I'm pro-life, of course. And I'm on a pro-life committee and I do work for it. But, honestly, I disagree with McCain on so many issues including the economy, health care and defense that I find it truly hard to vote for him , either. And I'm not sure Palin is the sharpest tool in the shed. I read some commentary, I think it was on catholicity.com, that said the writer knew of many good Catholics who are not voting at all or are throwing their vote away on a third party candidate because of discomfort with BOTH major candidates. It almost seems as if anyone who is pro-life is blinded by that fact to all other negatives of a pro-life candidate. And that doesn't seem smart either. Ah, well, better to be wise than to be smart. I should pray for wisdom.

Baking Bread and Blogging

June 19, 2008
So it is 9:30 p.m. and I am baking bread and blogging. It has been a very long time since I blogged, and I was about to give it up. But I am sufficiently outraged, and I must write.
First, I read about a photography studio in Albuquerque being sued by a lesbian couple because the studio wouldn't do their wedding photos. They just politely declined, but were sued for hate speech or something crazy like that. The link is on catholicity.com. It seems crazy to me, because business is a private enterprise, not a public service. But it is actually part of a trend toward criminalizing acting on your beliefs. Making it a hate crime. Crazy, again.
Then, I read about my lovely Diocese of Richmond, VA being in hot water because apparently some folks in the Catholic refugee office helped an immigrant girl procure an abortion. This was after they helped to get her some contraceptives. Read about this at lifesitenews.com. These employees have been fired, and I think perhaps they should try to find employment at Planned Parenthood. If I wasn't already fed up with this diocese, I certainly am now. It is very liberal and many traditional Catholics have sought out the Maronite Catholic church here in town as a safe haven because of the liberal nature of the Latin rite churches.
Add to this that our Bishop recently gave the homily at my home parish here and failed to mention Christ once. He talked about the younger generation being cafeteria Catholics, though. A real message of hope.
On a lighter note, I celebrated my 13th anniversary this week. Really no big deal as it was in the middle of the week, but the cards were nice. It also happened to coincide with the date in California on which gay couples are legally allowed to wed - June 17. So I will share my anniversary with lots of those folks going forward.
I hope I don't sound hateful. I do not hate anyone. But I do hate that my beliefs are no longer being allowed in the public square. That really riles me. If I choose to follow the magisterium of the Catholic church in matters of faith and morals, that should be just as fine with the world as gay people getting married. But it is not. In the world today, it seems always wrong to say "No" to any behavior. It is only OK to give assent, over and over, until society unravels completely and all we are left with is a pile of string in the floor.
So, what does all this have to do with baking bread? Not much really, except I never expected that I would bake bread or homeschool or crochet blankets or sacrifice any of my wishes to a greater good.
I'm baking bread because tomorrow is the last day of Boy Scout Day Camp and I want to have something to serve with the vegetable soup I already made for dinner as tomorrow is Friday, and I don't eat meat on Friday per Church teaching. I thank God that the Scouts are a Christian organization and my son has truly benefited from his association with them thus far.
Tomorrow will be a day of obstacle courses, climbing walls, and water balloon fights. It will be fun, and I will be there with my camera and my children. And then we will come home and eat something healthy and homemade.

Nature Study

May 21, 2008
School's out!!! And we are enjoying the fine weather. Yesterday, I happened to see what I think was a baby groundhog while walking our dog around the 1.25 acres of our property. The little hog played statue to avoid notice of Kayla, the dog, who is really not that smart. Unfortunately, baby hog was gone by the time the kids got outside. But we viewed the abandoned wren's nest (complete with five eggs) in the bag of deer corn feed and sucked on honeysuckles in the backyard. Olivia chased butterflies. And it was a beautiful day.
Now if Joey can just get over his strep throat!

Homeschooling roundup and Adoration

May 1, 2008
Counting down the days. Yes, in just two short weeks, we will be done with school. I can't believe it, but it is true. We will have completed our schoolbooks by then and the kids also have taken their achievement tests, which is required by law annually in VA if you do not homeschool through religious exemption.
Sometimes, when I don't feel I'm doing enough, it really helps to think of all that they have done this year. Not only have they completed their English grammar and Prima Latina, we will finish Story of the World, Book 1, and the Abeka Science books for their grade level. Joey finished first grade math around Christmas and math is a continuing occupation for Olivia and me - continuing through the summer, as well. But I am happy to say she is making progress and scoring at grade level.
But what really makes me happy is to think of all the books we have read aloud this year - or will complete by the end of school.
D'Aulaire's Greek Myths
Marigold Hunt's The Life of Our Lord for Children
Geraldine McGaughren's The Jesse Tree
C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair
James Baldwin's 50 Famous Stories Retold
A couple of the Odyssey books from Mary Pope Osborne
Misty of Chincoteauge (just for fun)
And many, many stories from the library.

Joey and I are also buddy reading the Childhood of Famous Americans life of John F. Kennedy, his favorite president.
And both kids have read tons of library books on their own this year including many American Girl books. That is what Olivia has been reading since moving to VA. Joey is particularly fond of anything to do with history, the military or presidents. He just likes to read.
Today, I took the kids to Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament at our local cathedral - St. Andrew's. It is a parish of about 1,500 families and they have four hours of Adoration on the first Thursday of the month. I have always heard of it being done on the First Friday. But anyway, we went for about half an hour and it was beautiful, of course. I came away as refreshed as if I had been on a retreat. There is really something special about that devotion.
But afterward, my son said something I did not expect to hear from him: "I like Adoration."
Ya-hoo!
When I asked why, he said it was because he got to read. But he was reading his First Communion Catechism. I figured he would need something to look at besides the church, so I let him have that. And both kids talked to me on the way home about what they prayed for, which
means they actually were praying. Yay, again. I'm thinking and hoping they actually may have understood what we were doing.
But right now they are outside playing homestead in which they pretend to be pioneers who have set up camp on a muddy island in our creek and make stew out of wild onions and creek water and pretend to shoot deer and moose and things like that.
Fun, fun. It's great to be a kid. And it's great to be a mom, too.

Dogwoods and Lilies

April 21, 2008
It rained all night last night and much of the morning. But now the sun is shining brightly here and the birds are singing. Of course, they sing when it is raining, too.
The rain will be great for the Easter lilies I planted yesterday. Not being a gardener at all, I didn't realize that lilies - being bulb plants - come back to life every year, no matter how dead they happen to look in their little Easter pots. So, I brought home three dead-looking Easter lilies and planted them in the garden that contains the daffodils and tulips. They will be a nice addition next year.
I think I would like to plant day-lily bulbs this year where my pansy patch is. I have always been a big fan of the day lily, especially the orange variety. It is a grand, tall flower but it has a sort of everday-ness about it that is homey. And of course, they would come back every year, unlike the pansies.
My favorite spot in the yard right now is the bedroom-end of the house where the most hot-pink azalea I have ever seen is blooming beneath my daughter's bedroom window, in sharp contrast to kids' climbing tree which is befrilled with white dogwood blossoms at the moment.
I have no fewer than 10 blooming dogwoods in my yard and along the creek right now. Truly amazing. I'll have to find something new to write about soon. I'm sure both of my readers are getting tired of reading about spring in Virginia.

Pansy Patch

April 20, 2008

I have been writing a lot about my yard lately, and it truly is a beautiful surprise to watch all of the perennials come to life after the dreary winter. My only contribution to this hopeful picture has been a pansy patch behind the mailbox - annuals, not perennials.
It is a modest patch, bounded by scalloped bricks - a yellow and purple patchwork there at the corner of the drive -- determined to look bright, not shabby.
But that small patch required literally hours of work one fine Sunday. And it made me stop and think of that passage in the Bible in which Jesus compares souls to the different types of soil one can sow seed in. Rocky soil, fertile (but weedy) soil, good soil, etc.
If souls are anything like soil, God truly has His work cut out for him.
The place where I chose to plant my pansies was hard, very hard. Partly thanks to the cement in which the mailbox was sunk into the ground. But I had to have the pansies there. Some bright something was needed at that corner -- no matter how hard the ground was.
So, first I watered the area, and watered it. Of course, that meant dragging the hose all the way to the front corner of the property.
And I thought of all the trouble God goes to in order to water our souls, to make them softer and more receptive to His word. For me, that could have been all of the good experiences I had of Church and Christians in my early life. Bible school, Sunday school, kindly pastors.
After watering the area for my pansy patch, I had to go at it with a shovel and hoe because there was no way I could plant flowers where the grass was already growing. Our lives, too, can be overgrown with grass and weeds - distractions, obsessions. What-have-you. For me, the hardships of life have been like that shovel and hoe turning my weed-covered life over to reveal fresh soil and a different take on life and its meaning.
Could there really be something more important than temporal success? Early adulthood was definitely shovel and hoe time for me.
Even after I had turned the soil, it didn't look very inviting. It was rather rocky. So I spent some time clearing the patch and pitching the rocks into the ditch. Rooting out the major flaws in the garden. But even then, I worried for the flowers I would plant there. Would there be enough good soil for them to take root?
Luckily, I had bought a bag of good, rich garden soil at Lowe's. This I poured evenly into my little rectangle of a garden. Now I felt certain that the pansies would survive.
Before I could take the Christian life seriously, my soul needed a great deal of enriching. But I was truly blessed by becoming a Catholic in Memphis where there is a small but absolutely vibrant Catholic community. I learned my faith by watching and talking to lifelong and devoted Catholics and by reading books by many learned Catholics and converts to the Faith.
When the seeds of faith were finally planted, they took root. My conversion is the one decision in my life that I have not second-guessed - not even once. I am everlastingly grateful for being led to the Church. And humbled by it.
I know that each of us has a purpose, perhaps as humble as the purpose of my flower patch. To brighten a corner of the world. To be a beacon for even one person. That is enough.

Prayers, car trouble

April 11, 2008
So, I know all the reasons to be grateful: I wasn't driving on the highway when my car died. I was in my own neighborhood, although at least a mile from home. And some nice folks helped me.
Yes, I am grateful, but I have also been an irritiable so-and-so all day. My husband just worked on the car before he went out of town, but somehow the alternator was loose and the battery was drained and - of course - I left my cell phone at home and had to borrow from the neighbor who helped us - and who I don't know at all as they live around and down the hill and we just moved here last September.
But, I was going to visit a friend 20 miles away today. She had to cancel at the last minute. It could have happened on the way there. I am lucky it didn't. We were going across town on the highway tomorrow. It could have happened on 581, and that would've been a big problem.
Here's an even better piece of luck. The couple who helped us out have a nephew who is service manager at the garage in town and they sent us to them to fix the alternator. So, I am really lucky.
My other car has a lapsed registration because it didn't pass inspection and so I have to get something in it repaired before I have it registered. Meanwhile, I'm driving a lapsed registration vehicle to softball practices. I hope to have my old car back tomorrow - at a relatively low cost.
Another good point: Hubby got paid today although he is at a conference in Nevada. So, at least, I can afford to have the car fixed.
I certainly don't sound very spiritual in this post. I'm beginning to think of Virginia as the PLACE WHERE THINGS BREAK - OR DON'T WORK - giving the house flooding and other issues we have seen here.
My phone went out earlier this week and I had to buy a new splitter for the modem. I'm starting to feel like I can actually handle mechanical things - or at least hire people who can handle mechanical things. I definitely am an idiot when it comes to cars. I wasn't even sure where the hood release was.
But when my car died, I did say my prayers for help and I got help. So, if there is any spiritual bent to this post it is that prayers are answered. Life cannot be trouble-free, but prayers can be answered.

Dogwoods, Lilacs and Libraries

April 10,
I keep finding new reasons to like my yard. Mind you, the yard was the attractive part of the home when we bought it. But spring is really showing it to advantage. Yesterday, I discovered we have young dogwood trees growing by the creek, and today I found two lilac bushes growing out by the deck, one white and one purple. Spring has really sprung here and it was a beautiful day for the park, where we met some new homeschool friends from the next county over.
So, we are having a nice day and I'm glad to be homeschooling, especially as I listen to some of the moms with kids in public high school talk.
Then we were off the library - one of my favorite haunts - although I don't usually like to go after school hours because it is so crazy. I loaded up on books about China as we are studying that next week and Olivia got Kit's World because she is reading all of the American Girl books about Kit and the Great Depression right now.
The library checkout is just in front of a book display - choices by the library's Teen Council. Olivia pointed to one. The title was Cut in red letters with an x slashed beneath it and you could tell from the other words on the cover that it was all about that sad psychological phenomenon of "cutting," which is kind of like self-mutilation. It is RIGHT in front of the kids DVDs, too. Not appreciating it. The other Teen picks were like the Sorcerer's Bride and Vampire Tales and other really down and dirty depressing stuff.
Yuck.
I think the next time I go to the library will be by myself and I plan to mention how little I appreciate the placement of those "edgy" books. Plus, the graffiti in the bathroom is terrible. This is one of my, "what's the world coming to?" posts. And how in the world can I make a real difference aside from affecting the lives of my own children?
I was glad to come home to my beautiful yard and quiet home where my kids love to read and play together.
But I know that people of good conscience cannot check out of society. We must stand up for what we believe in. There is a great article on lifesitenews.com about a Canadian teacher who is being suspended from his job for writing letters to the editor regarding his traditional Christian beliefs on homosexuality. How about some free speech? That right is being eroded in Canada and that certainly could happen here. It is something to take seriously.

A Beautiful Day

April 8, 2008
And finally, some sun. Spring has come to our yard with a vengeance and now I remember why I liked the house in the first place. We have goldenrod growing alongside the creek in back, lambs ear and cactus around the deck, hostas preparing to unfurl their banners and daffodils in full bloom in two different garden plots.
A lot of purple flowers (must get flora book) are growing nearby and some red berry bushes, as well.
Someone with a very green thumb (but unhandy around the house) used to live here. And it almost made me forget that we have replaced the stove, the water heater and two toilets since we moved in six months ago. Not to mention about 1/3 of the floor thanks to the plumbing flood.
Our back yard is truly a park and we could raise a decent garden here if we put our minds to it.
The day started off early and pitch dark as we all headed out to have hubby at the airport by 6 a.m., thank you. Then back to sleep for awhile. We have actually managed to do school and go to Mass today as well. And it is a perfect day for planting flowers with the Tiger Scouts, which is what we will do tonight.
Softball season has started, and Olivia really seems to be doing great. It's her second year of coach pitch and she has developed quite an arm - somehow along the winter. Her team includes girls ages5-8 as they do not have T ball for girls here - strange. She is on the Starz. I always enjoy watching her play.
I do hope the sun holds out a bit. The spring day is cheering after the truly heartbreaking defeat of the Memphis Tigers last night. I was up until midnight watching that.
Maybe next year.

Library sales and homeschooling

April 7, 2008
I love library book sales. For 50 cents or $1, I often come away with a wonderful book that will keep my hyper boy still for 30 minute to an hour! I was reminded of that today when Joey picked up Stephen Biesty's Incredible Cross-Sections book and proceeded to educate himself and his sister about operas, the Queen Mary (a ship), cathedrals and a space shuttle.
This was after "real school" time. This was kid time. So, while I was trying to repair the jammed shredder with a fork (shredder was unplugged), the kids learned quite a bit. One thing they already know is that I'm not the mechanical one in the family - obviously. Shredder is still jammed.
I don't understand why libraries are so all-fired ready to sell great books for nothing. When we moved here, I bought Pagoo by Holling C. Hollings for 50 cents. That is a classic of Charlotte Mason-type homeschooling. Many of the books I buy are out-moded classics, of course. Misty of Chincoteague was another, and the Isle of the Blue Dolphins.
This weekend, our main library here is having a big sale and I'm soooo looking forward to it. Nothing cheers me up like cheap books! And with hubby being gone on this lovely convention, it will definitely brighten my weekend.
Spring in Virginia is funny. It's overcast much of the time and rainy when it's not overcast. How bout some sunshine? Of course, my most recent hometown of Memphis is struggling with a flood-stage Mississippi River, so I should not complain.
Tigers play tonight. Go Tigers! Bring home that NCAA title.

Tigers in April

April 6, 2008
Just a brief comment tonight and not a truly religious topic. But, how 'bout those Tigers?? I'm talking about the University of Memphis basketball team which soundly defeated UCLA last night in the Final Four. What a shot in the arm for my former hometown. I can only hope they do as well tomorrow in the national championship.
My daughter is a great fan of tigers. That is, she collects stuffed tigers and loves to read about the animal itself. Wants to be a zoologist when she grows up. This love of tigers originated in Calvin and Hobbes, I believe. So she is naturally a fan of U of M.
It takes a lot for a Kentucky native to change her basketball allegiance from UK, but after 12 years in Memphis I have to say that I'm more of a Tiger fan than a Wildcat fan at this point. And I'm not above saying a little prayer for their victory on Monday.

Holy Week

March 25, 2008
Bit late to be posting about Holy Week, but I'm behind as usual. I really enjoyed the Holy Week services at our new parish here in VA. In particular, I found the Good Friday service to be moving. As a convert who has spent her entire life in the Memphis area up until moving recently to VA, I have always attended one parish. It was a parish in which the priest was older and rather rotund. So this is the first Good Friday where I saw the priest and deacon walk in and prostrate themselves before the cross as the Good Friday service began. What a simple but beautiful message.
The parish itself historically served the African-American community but has expanded to offer a weekly Spanish Mass and attracts people from all walks of life. That is what I love so much about it.
During the veneration of the cross, we watched as an elderly black man rolled up in one of those scooters and - shakily supporting himself on his cane - bent to kiss the cross. I watched a round Mexican Abuela (grandmother) genuflect and struggle to stand and kiss the cross. Then there was the blond young man in the business suit genuflecting to kiss the cross.
I'm glad my family was sitting near the front of the church and that my children were able to watch the veritable parade of people kissing the cross. Joey was afraid to do it but he did anyway. "Stage fright," he said.
I'm not sure they understand everything we do. I know I am teaching them about it at homeschool and reading them The Life of Our Lord for Children. But whether they understand it or not, they are receiving a visual understanding of the love Christians are supposed to have for Christ. They are participating in honoring the Savior, and I know that will make an imprint on their lives which I hope bears fruit when they are older.
I know that even when I was an agnostic in my 20s, years of church-going as a child predisposed me to return and - in my exile - to yearn for that home to which all spirits wish to fly.

Faith, Creed and the Journey

March 10, 2008
We attended two different churches yesterday because my son was in the Scout Sunday exercises at the local Protestant church. Our little town has no Catholic church and we attend one 15 minutes away in the nearby city.
Wow. What a difference in the services. I was raised Methodist and that is the other church we went to yesterday. It was amazingly different. The message was good, mind you. But it just went on and on at will because that is truly the centerpiece of the Methodist service. No real liturgy and definitely no Eucharist. The gospel was read by a young teenager who mumbled and stumbled over his words. And all of the Bible verses and hymns were projected in large print onto the wall by a power point program - as if we are unable to read our hymnals. The pastor was very nice but so informal that I felt as if he was chatting up some friends at Food Lion.
Then in the evening, on to our little church where the tiny Central American priest presents the Gospel with great reverence and ceremony. The gold-embossed book held up for all to see and honor. As with a normal Mass, there were two readings from the Scripture, a responsorial Psalm and the Gospel, followed by the Liturgy of the Eucharist. We definitely get more Scripture for the money, plus the Eucharist, which is priceless.
I am not trying to put down Protestants here. But after being Catholic for awhile, the service itself seems so empty without the Eucharist. And the creed, well, they didn't bother with a creed at the service we attended. But at the early service, apparently there was a Modern Affirmation which I read over. It seemed pretty New Age-y to me.
Growing up Methodist in Kentucky, we said the Apostles Creed every week and I had it committed to memory long before I began to say it daily in the Rosary. I'm glad that my children hear it said often as we say a regular decade of the Rosary several times per week.
It reminds me of the signs in C.S. Lewis' book, The Silver Chair. Jill is supposed to repeat the signs that Aslan gave her so that she will make good progress on her journey. If she forgets the signs, then she will easily stray from the path that he set her on -- which she does. Likewise, my children and I need to know the creed so that we will not stray from our path on the journey. Repetition is one way to "know" our creed. But to truly understand it we have to look at it and talk about it.
We did that today with the Our Father (Lord's Prayer), which we said before we began school. We talked about "Hallowed be thy name" and what that means, as well as "Lead us not into temptation." They are one week away from learning that prayer in Latin, as well as in English.
And our next big project is to make a Holy Mass book which explains and illustrates the parts of the Mass with Holy Cards. I hope they grow up with the Faith as part of their being. That is one of my daily prayers.

The Lenten Journey

March 1, 2008

The family and I did Stations of the Cross together at our parish last night. I particularly liked the closing prayer, which I share with you here:

"We have journeyed these steps in a spirit of prayerful hope. When we unite our suffering and difficulties to those of the Lord Jesus Christ, our sadness and distress will eventually change into joy, vindication, healing, and peace. Though we may bear the scars of our hurts, we will no longer be prisoners of fear, for we have triumphed through the victory of the cross and resurrection. Let us always be about our Lord's work. May we accomplish this work patiently and carefully, trusting in the power of the Risen Christ, who dwells among us and will bring us everlasting life."

Have a blessed Lent.

Receiving Communion

Feb. 28,2008
I was interested to read about the Vatican reviewing the practice of receiving the Eucharist in the hand rather than on the tongue, as in pre-Vatican II days.
I have no problem with changing back to the original way and think it could prevent the abuses mentioned in the story. I just wonder what effect that would have on Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist, as they must touch the host. I picked the story up off http://www.catholicity.com where it can be found in the commentary section. For some reason, I cannot get the whole URL to post in my blog.
Also of interest at Catholicity is a story about the Vatican requiring all seminaries to teach seminarians to say the Latin Mass. I think that is great, too. It is a beautiful part of the Church's heritage. It seems that Latin also is seeing a comeback in schools. I know it is taught in my homeschool where this week we learned Ego amo te - I love you, among other things.

Penance, Vocations and Reality in Kroger

Feb. 26, 2008

Totally behind on the blogging so this entry is going to contain some varied response to events that have occurred recently.
Like, for example, trying to go to confession in my new hometown. On the up side, a lot of people wanted to go to confession at the big Catholic church in my VA town on Saturday. On the down side, there were 15 people ahead of me and 15 minutes left in the scheduled half hour before Mass. Father probably would have run over to accommodate as many as possible, but I had to be back home to attend the Boy Scout Blue and Gold banquet where my Tiger Scout was receiving two important badges and various beads. So I had to leave on time.
Now, I should say that I'm no longer a parishioner at this large church. My family has opted for the smaller, diverse Catholic church around the corner that had traditionally served the African-American community. But the priest there - who is wonderful - does not schedule confession, very likely because he actually serves three parishes. You have to make an appointment for confession. Our new little church is wonderful, warm, friendly, and full of the love of God. But it doesn't have kneelers or adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, which I miss very much. I am lamenting here the loss of tradition in what must be termed a liberal diocese. And I hate to see people not being able to receive the sacraments because of a priest shortage, which I think is directly related to the liberal nature of the diocese. Just my opinion, mind you.
The shortage - which mean less access to sacraments and devotions - then feeds the shortage because the flock isn't being fed. So, I shall have to be early if I want to confess around here - and I do. And I am actively praying for vocations in this diocese.
Lent hasn't gone so well as I hoped. I gave up my gum-chewing habit and planned to fast every Friday, not just Good Friday and Ash Wednesday. That worked on the first Friday, but last Friday I made the mistake of making tuna noodle casserole for dinner. Never make something you really like if you are supposed to be fasting. That just adds to temptation. So, this Friday I'll do something Spartan. Luckily, I think I'm getting the flu so I'll just stick to fluids.
Now, about reality. It's great when your first-grader can read well. What's not great is when you hear him reading this in Kroger: "Have you ever been forced to have sex against your will? Are you afraid? Are you ever beaten, punched and kicked?" And on and on.
Now, that wasn't a tabloid magazine, it was an advertisement in the fold-down seat section of my shopping cart. The ad was for a women's shelter, which is fine. But why so graphic and why on a child's eye level?
I told him to stop reading and I would explain at home. I did not complain to management, although I considered it. So, the kids and I had a talk at home about how not everyone's Daddy is nice and kind. Not everyone's Daddy hugs Mom every day and plays Jr. Monopoly with his kids or teaches his son to shoot a BB gun. I explained there are some bad people in the world who have sick souls, and the ad was about a safe place women and children could go to get away from bad people.
Yes, it's reality and yes they need to know about it at some time. But at 7 and 8? I did not know about things like that when I was their age. So, I think I handled the situtation as well as I could, but the fact that children must be confronted with this reality is a cause for prayer.
Another cause for prayer: My mother, who can remember air raid drills as an elementary school child in WWII, is now a nurse-helper in a school for a little autistic boy. At that school, they are doing disaster drills for school shootings. She remembers her own fear during the air raid drills and laments that today's children must fear such violence from their own countrymen.
So, let us pray....

Gratitude

Feb. 14, 2008

A few things for which I'm grateful:

My sister's clear bill of health following cancer treatment
Finding a good parish in a new city
A comfortable home
Chocolates on Valentines Day
Valentine messages written in invisible ink by my 7-year-old son
Happy children
A friendly small town
Electric power restored after a windstorm
A husband who is my best friend
Fasting during Lent

I must remember to make gratitude lists during Lent and after. Otherwise, I get caught up in what is not right with my life - when there are so many things are ARE right. And then I just want to run away and not deal with life on life's terms.
It's kind of like this hilarious new game my kids have -- Knights of the Rectangular Table. (We don't have any round tables, but they still have that cardboard box from Nutrisystem).
They also have cardboard swords and shields which bear the motto: We Will Win or Flee!
Mostly they just chase each other around and pretend bad guys are after them. But, really, to win or flee. As tempting as that is for me, that is not the way life works. And, at 40, I should know better. But I still indulge escapist fantasies when the going gets rough. And the going has been rough here lately in a situation that affects my family. Fleeing is not an option. Praying is the only option. So I am praying a novena to the Holy Spirit - something I wish I had done years ago. It is a beautiful prayer. Here is the link: http://www.theworkofgod.org/Library/Trinity/holy_spirit_novena.htm.

And, here is the Prayer for the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit:

O Lord Jesus Christ Who, before ascending into heaven did promise to send the Holy Spirit to finish Your work in the souls of Your Apostles and Disciples, deign to grant the same Holy Spirit to me that He may perfect in my soul, the work of Your grace and Your Love. Grant me the Spirit of Wisdom that I may despise the perishable things of this world and aspire only after the things that are eternal, the Spirit of Understanding to enlighten my mind with the light of Your divine truth, the Spirit of Counsel that I may ever choose the surest way of pleasing God and gaining heaven, the Spirit of Fortitude that I may bear my cross with You and that I may overcome with courage all the obstacles that oppose my salvation, the Spirit of Knowledge that I may know God and know myself and grow perfect in the science of the Saints, the Spirit of Piety that I may find the service of God sweet and amiable, and the Spirit of Fear that I may be filled with a loving reverence towards God and may dread in any way to displease Him. Mark me, dear Lord, with the sign of Your true disciples, and animate me in all things with Your Spirit. Amen.

Cursillo Founder Dies

Feb. 8, 2008

I just read on zenit.org that Eduardo Bonnin, founder of the lay Catholic Cursillo movement, died in Spain at 90. I count my Cursillo retreat of 2 years ago as a turning point in my life as a Catholic. I found others who sought to make their faith the axis upon which their life turned. And I began joining in weekly "group reunions" in which other cursillistas talked about how they stayed in touch with their God and worked to evangelize their communities. A community can be as small as a home or as large as a blogosphere.
It was on Cursillo that I finally realized that my work outside the home was not the correct path on my journey at that time. And it was on Cursillo that I met friends who truly aided me in my journey -- some of whom I am still in contact with although I have since moved from Memphis to Virginia. So, to Eduardo Bonnin, I say thank you and add this prayer:

"Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and ignite in us the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit and we shall be created and You shall renew the face of the earth."

Ash Wednesday

Feb. 6, 2008
It is a gray Ash Wednesday here with somber mountains as a backdrop to drizzly skies. I have a headache and am very tired because I'm not used to fasting. I should really do it more often. If I did, I might realize what it is like for those who do not have enough to eat. If I did, I might think more often of the people living on the streets here and scratching out a living across the ocean. It is good to do without once in awhile. But how do I translate that penance into true charity - consistent charity? That is what I'm exploring this Lent.
I am so blessed it is hard to believe that I'm ever unhappy or ungrateful. But, oh, I am both and fairly often. My day today was busy -- Mass, piano lessons, speech therapy assessment, taking my husband to the car dealer and the dog to the vet. Routine, middle class errands and yet they say a lot about my life. For one thing, I have the time to do these things. I am not busy working in a factory. It is a blessing to go to Mass more than just on Sunday. And I'm grateful that my kids can take piano lessons. I'm fortunate that the public schools here offer free speech therapy assessments. And I could go on and on. If I could change one thing about myself this Lent it it that I should become truly, constantly grateful for my life.
Here is a quick exchange between Joey and me at dinner, that pretty much made my day.
Joey is a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes.

Joey: "You know what Calvin says you need to be happy in the world?"
Me: "No, what?"
Joey: "Power and money."
Me: "I'm not sure he's right. What makes you happy?"
Joey: Pause "You."
Me: "Well, I don't have any power or money, so I guess he's not right."

And so goes dinner conversation on a night when I did not overeat.

Hellooooo out there...

Feb. 3, 2008
If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?
Likewise, if you blog and no one reads it, have you really written anything?
That said, please shoot me a quick note if you are reading or have ever read this blog. I hardly ever receive comments and am beginning to wonder if anyone is reading.
Thanks for taking the time. And have a productive Lent. I'm planning to do so. More on that later.
Good night.

Love or Duty?

Feb. 2, 2008

I am on a CS Lewis kick these days. I read last night CS Lewis Letters to Children, a lovely quick read that gives even more insight on that gifted writer. A quote from one of his letters really jumped out at me, as I have always been one of those duty-bound people -- doing what is right because it is right. And here is the quote. The topic was on being "good."

"A perfect man would never act from a sense of duty; he'd always want the right thing more than the wrong one. Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people), like a crutch, which is a substitute for a leg. Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it's idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc) can do the journey on their own!"

Now, I usually want the right thing more than the wrong one -- unless we are talking about choosing foods. But I wonder then if my behavior is motivated by duty? The quote brought me up short and made me think.

This also brings to mind the conversation on discipline in a chat group of which I am a part.
One contribution from a member of the group, who happens to be a friend, was quite valuable. It is one that she saw on a video somewhere. "Walk in your strengths and manage your weaknesses."
Now that is some good advice.
'Til next time.

Nutrisystem, Homeschooling and Imagination

Jan. 31, 2008
So here we are on the last day of January and you may be wondering what the three items in the title have to do with one another. Let me explain.
My dear husband, who will be 50 in the summer, has started Nutrisystem in order to lose around 50 pounds or so. It's all in the interest of health -- and permission to purchase a new (read different....we can't afford new) motorcycle on his 50th birthday. It's amazing that one month of food can fit into a foot locker-sized cardboard box. And it's providential that my husband and father-in-law installed new cabinets in the laundry room over the holidays as that is where the Nutrisystem food is stored. All in neat little boxes. Red for dinner, green for lunch, etc.
So, hubby is sticking to the diet so far (week 1) and losing a few pounds, but the box itself is worth its weight in gold. We have two children, 7 and 8, and they have turned the box into a time machine set for different times such as the Civil War, WWI, WWII, Columbus' time, Pocahontas' time, and, of course, dinosaur time. The box is complete with buttons which are accurately labeled. During breaks in homeschooling they travel to a different time and have adventures. I have to mention that these times correspond with the history dates they have so far memorized for homeschool. And their adventures are significantly augmented by their reading of the Magic Tree House books in which a brother and sister, ages 7 and 8, go back and time and have adventures. Funny how art imitates life in this case.
So, here in the cold heart of winter as we prepare to enter Lent, I am grateful for many things: For my husband's health, for my childrens' ability to be children and avoid the consumeristic appeal of Webkins and American Idol and video games. And I am grateful for imagination -- the forerunner of hope.

Screwtape Continued

Jan. 16, 2008
As promised, more excerpts from The Screwtape Letters and why they matter:
"You mentioned casually in your last letter that the patient has continued to attend one church, and one only, since he was converted, and that he is not wholly pleased with it. May I ask what you are about? ....Surely you know that if a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighbourhoood looking for the church that 'suits' him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place, the parochial organisation should always be attacked, because being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires (Enemy meaning God). The congregational principle on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally if all goes well, into a coterie or faction.. In the second place, the search for a 'suitable' church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil."
In my first eight years as a Catholic (until we moved to VA), I attended only one parish except for the occasional visit to a friend's church. It was a little, un-lovely, cement-block parish in a Navy town full of regular people. It was not overwhelmingly friendly at first. But it was the closest Catholic church. We persisted in going, finally meeting people, getting involved in various ministries. The priest was sort of grouchy and we had several unwed mothers in the congregation. I learned a lot there, became a devout Catholic there, made wonderful friends and truly became part of a community that loved and forgave one another and tolerated each other's imperfections.
Unfortunately, the parish model does not exist where I live now. Not every town or neighborhood has a Catholic church. My husband and I alternate between the cathedral and the "ethnic" Catholic church around the corner which traditionally served African-Americans. Both churches have their good points. But neither seems to be a true community because both draw from all over the county. The point CS Lewis makes is one that I needed to hear again, however. I am not in the church to be a connoisseur. I am there as a student and a servant. No matter where I find myself, I can learn more and love the people I find there.
Thanks be to God.

Grace Visible and Screwtape Revisited

Jan. 14, 2008
Here I am in wintry Wiconsin, where the sky and the ground match. Both are white. One is white with the falling snow and one with the fallen. And my sister lives in a little gray house near the railroad track with her husband and daughter, and grace and faith.
Actually, her daughter's name is Grace. And she is a beauty - almost six months old with the bluest eyes, fattest cheeks and pink skin. My sister is preparing to take the treatment for thyroid cancer. Nearly three years into their marriage, they have definitely had their share of difficulty. First a still birth, then a miscarriage. But then Grace. And my sister makes lists of things she is grateful for in spite of her difficulties. And her faith seems so strong still. The thyroid treatment is something to get through, like walking through a hallway. A difficult hallway but to a pleasant room on the other side. I can only wonder how I would respond to the situation. But she is handling it with grace and faith and it is my privilege to be here for one week to help out as needed. Of course, I miss my family and can't wait to see them on Saturday. But it is just a week. And I am blessed by Grace made visible.
Another blessing to me is the re-reading of that wonderful classic, Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I loaned out my two copies and haven't looked at it in a couple of years. A couple of passages have really jumped out at me and I quote them here. Keep in mind that the narrator is a devil and the Enemy to whom he refers is God:
"The Enemy allows this disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavour....In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing. The Enemy takes this risk because He has a curious fantasy of making all these disgusting little human vermin into what He calls His "free" lovers and servants -- "sons" is the word He uses.,.... He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits to any of the goals which He sets efore them: He leaves them to "do it on their own." And there lies our opportunity. But also remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."
And that is a much-needed reminder to me as my husband and I struggle with our transition to life in Virginia. It hasn't been fun and wonderful. Work has been hard. The Catholic culture in the area is minimal and very different than what we are used to. But the fact remains that it is an excellent opportunity for my husband, and there are Catholic churches in the area. Who said faith was going to easy? Not Christ nor any of his followers.
More on this great book later. But today I am grateful for C.S. Lewis, Grace, my sister, my family and my husband in particular.

Rediscovering Prayer

Jan. 6, 2007

I did not make any New Year's resolutions this year, but have begun recommitting myself to prayer in the New Year. I think it actually began on New Year's Day -- which is a holy day, the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. That night I said the Rosary and every day since I have said the Rosary, even if it is 11:30 p.m. when I remember to do it. I feel like a person walking in the desert who has happened upon a stream of fresh water. And I wonder why I ignored that source of strength and refreshment so long.
My very first post on this blog was about the Rosary. It is truly the source of my conversion as I said it almost daily during my mother's illness in 1998.
When I had Olivia in 1999 ( and entered the Church), I didn't pray the Rosary daily, but I did pray throughout the day as any mother of a newborn might do. When I had two children under 2 years of age, my prayer life was a source of both spiritual refreshment and communion as I felt Jesus and Mary were my only constant companions in a life constrained and isolated by alternating napping and feeding schedules. And when my son's health prohibited me from going anywhere one winter, my prayer life increased again.
I am so much more myself and more serene when I pray, and the Rosary is my prayer of choice because it highlights all of the major points of Christ's life and Mary's interaction with them. It helps me to see Christ in others, and it helps me to see that Mary is truly a model for all mothers and women.
Last night, I saw something on television about the Liturgy of the Hours. I know nothing about that except it is the prayer of the Church, and the priests say it. But after Vatican II, lay people were also encouraged to say it, I think. I plan to try to learn more about that and to continue my commitment to prayer especially as I prepare to go to Wisconsin to help my sister.