Feb. 6, 2008
It is a gray Ash Wednesday here with somber mountains as a backdrop to drizzly skies. I have a headache and am very tired because I'm not used to fasting. I should really do it more often. If I did, I might realize what it is like for those who do not have enough to eat. If I did, I might think more often of the people living on the streets here and scratching out a living across the ocean. It is good to do without once in awhile. But how do I translate that penance into true charity - consistent charity? That is what I'm exploring this Lent.
I am so blessed it is hard to believe that I'm ever unhappy or ungrateful. But, oh, I am both and fairly often. My day today was busy -- Mass, piano lessons, speech therapy assessment, taking my husband to the car dealer and the dog to the vet. Routine, middle class errands and yet they say a lot about my life. For one thing, I have the time to do these things. I am not busy working in a factory. It is a blessing to go to Mass more than just on Sunday. And I'm grateful that my kids can take piano lessons. I'm fortunate that the public schools here offer free speech therapy assessments. And I could go on and on. If I could change one thing about myself this Lent it it that I should become truly, constantly grateful for my life.
Here is a quick exchange between Joey and me at dinner, that pretty much made my day.
Joey is a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes.
Joey: "You know what Calvin says you need to be happy in the world?"
Me: "No, what?"
Joey: "Power and money."
Me: "I'm not sure he's right. What makes you happy?"
Joey: Pause "You."
Me: "Well, I don't have any power or money, so I guess he's not right."
And so goes dinner conversation on a night when I did not overeat.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Hellooooo out there...
Feb. 3, 2008
If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?
Likewise, if you blog and no one reads it, have you really written anything?
That said, please shoot me a quick note if you are reading or have ever read this blog. I hardly ever receive comments and am beginning to wonder if anyone is reading.
Thanks for taking the time. And have a productive Lent. I'm planning to do so. More on that later.
Good night.
If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?
Likewise, if you blog and no one reads it, have you really written anything?
That said, please shoot me a quick note if you are reading or have ever read this blog. I hardly ever receive comments and am beginning to wonder if anyone is reading.
Thanks for taking the time. And have a productive Lent. I'm planning to do so. More on that later.
Good night.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Love or Duty?
Feb. 2, 2008
I am on a CS Lewis kick these days. I read last night CS Lewis Letters to Children, a lovely quick read that gives even more insight on that gifted writer. A quote from one of his letters really jumped out at me, as I have always been one of those duty-bound people -- doing what is right because it is right. And here is the quote. The topic was on being "good."
"A perfect man would never act from a sense of duty; he'd always want the right thing more than the wrong one. Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people), like a crutch, which is a substitute for a leg. Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it's idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc) can do the journey on their own!"
Now, I usually want the right thing more than the wrong one -- unless we are talking about choosing foods. But I wonder then if my behavior is motivated by duty? The quote brought me up short and made me think.
This also brings to mind the conversation on discipline in a chat group of which I am a part.
One contribution from a member of the group, who happens to be a friend, was quite valuable. It is one that she saw on a video somewhere. "Walk in your strengths and manage your weaknesses."
Now that is some good advice.
'Til next time.
I am on a CS Lewis kick these days. I read last night CS Lewis Letters to Children, a lovely quick read that gives even more insight on that gifted writer. A quote from one of his letters really jumped out at me, as I have always been one of those duty-bound people -- doing what is right because it is right. And here is the quote. The topic was on being "good."
"A perfect man would never act from a sense of duty; he'd always want the right thing more than the wrong one. Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people), like a crutch, which is a substitute for a leg. Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it's idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc) can do the journey on their own!"
Now, I usually want the right thing more than the wrong one -- unless we are talking about choosing foods. But I wonder then if my behavior is motivated by duty? The quote brought me up short and made me think.
This also brings to mind the conversation on discipline in a chat group of which I am a part.
One contribution from a member of the group, who happens to be a friend, was quite valuable. It is one that she saw on a video somewhere. "Walk in your strengths and manage your weaknesses."
Now that is some good advice.
'Til next time.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Nutrisystem, Homeschooling and Imagination
Jan. 31, 2008
So here we are on the last day of January and you may be wondering what the three items in the title have to do with one another. Let me explain.
My dear husband, who will be 50 in the summer, has started Nutrisystem in order to lose around 50 pounds or so. It's all in the interest of health -- and permission to purchase a new (read different....we can't afford new) motorcycle on his 50th birthday. It's amazing that one month of food can fit into a foot locker-sized cardboard box. And it's providential that my husband and father-in-law installed new cabinets in the laundry room over the holidays as that is where the Nutrisystem food is stored. All in neat little boxes. Red for dinner, green for lunch, etc.
So, hubby is sticking to the diet so far (week 1) and losing a few pounds, but the box itself is worth its weight in gold. We have two children, 7 and 8, and they have turned the box into a time machine set for different times such as the Civil War, WWI, WWII, Columbus' time, Pocahontas' time, and, of course, dinosaur time. The box is complete with buttons which are accurately labeled. During breaks in homeschooling they travel to a different time and have adventures. I have to mention that these times correspond with the history dates they have so far memorized for homeschool. And their adventures are significantly augmented by their reading of the Magic Tree House books in which a brother and sister, ages 7 and 8, go back and time and have adventures. Funny how art imitates life in this case.
So, here in the cold heart of winter as we prepare to enter Lent, I am grateful for many things: For my husband's health, for my childrens' ability to be children and avoid the consumeristic appeal of Webkins and American Idol and video games. And I am grateful for imagination -- the forerunner of hope.
So here we are on the last day of January and you may be wondering what the three items in the title have to do with one another. Let me explain.
My dear husband, who will be 50 in the summer, has started Nutrisystem in order to lose around 50 pounds or so. It's all in the interest of health -- and permission to purchase a new (read different....we can't afford new) motorcycle on his 50th birthday. It's amazing that one month of food can fit into a foot locker-sized cardboard box. And it's providential that my husband and father-in-law installed new cabinets in the laundry room over the holidays as that is where the Nutrisystem food is stored. All in neat little boxes. Red for dinner, green for lunch, etc.
So, hubby is sticking to the diet so far (week 1) and losing a few pounds, but the box itself is worth its weight in gold. We have two children, 7 and 8, and they have turned the box into a time machine set for different times such as the Civil War, WWI, WWII, Columbus' time, Pocahontas' time, and, of course, dinosaur time. The box is complete with buttons which are accurately labeled. During breaks in homeschooling they travel to a different time and have adventures. I have to mention that these times correspond with the history dates they have so far memorized for homeschool. And their adventures are significantly augmented by their reading of the Magic Tree House books in which a brother and sister, ages 7 and 8, go back and time and have adventures. Funny how art imitates life in this case.
So, here in the cold heart of winter as we prepare to enter Lent, I am grateful for many things: For my husband's health, for my childrens' ability to be children and avoid the consumeristic appeal of Webkins and American Idol and video games. And I am grateful for imagination -- the forerunner of hope.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Screwtape Continued
Jan. 16, 2008
As promised, more excerpts from The Screwtape Letters and why they matter:
"You mentioned casually in your last letter that the patient has continued to attend one church, and one only, since he was converted, and that he is not wholly pleased with it. May I ask what you are about? ....Surely you know that if a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighbourhoood looking for the church that 'suits' him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place, the parochial organisation should always be attacked, because being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires (Enemy meaning God). The congregational principle on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally if all goes well, into a coterie or faction.. In the second place, the search for a 'suitable' church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil."
In my first eight years as a Catholic (until we moved to VA), I attended only one parish except for the occasional visit to a friend's church. It was a little, un-lovely, cement-block parish in a Navy town full of regular people. It was not overwhelmingly friendly at first. But it was the closest Catholic church. We persisted in going, finally meeting people, getting involved in various ministries. The priest was sort of grouchy and we had several unwed mothers in the congregation. I learned a lot there, became a devout Catholic there, made wonderful friends and truly became part of a community that loved and forgave one another and tolerated each other's imperfections.
Unfortunately, the parish model does not exist where I live now. Not every town or neighborhood has a Catholic church. My husband and I alternate between the cathedral and the "ethnic" Catholic church around the corner which traditionally served African-Americans. Both churches have their good points. But neither seems to be a true community because both draw from all over the county. The point CS Lewis makes is one that I needed to hear again, however. I am not in the church to be a connoisseur. I am there as a student and a servant. No matter where I find myself, I can learn more and love the people I find there.
Thanks be to God.
As promised, more excerpts from The Screwtape Letters and why they matter:
"You mentioned casually in your last letter that the patient has continued to attend one church, and one only, since he was converted, and that he is not wholly pleased with it. May I ask what you are about? ....Surely you know that if a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighbourhoood looking for the church that 'suits' him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place, the parochial organisation should always be attacked, because being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires (Enemy meaning God). The congregational principle on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally if all goes well, into a coterie or faction.. In the second place, the search for a 'suitable' church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil."
In my first eight years as a Catholic (until we moved to VA), I attended only one parish except for the occasional visit to a friend's church. It was a little, un-lovely, cement-block parish in a Navy town full of regular people. It was not overwhelmingly friendly at first. But it was the closest Catholic church. We persisted in going, finally meeting people, getting involved in various ministries. The priest was sort of grouchy and we had several unwed mothers in the congregation. I learned a lot there, became a devout Catholic there, made wonderful friends and truly became part of a community that loved and forgave one another and tolerated each other's imperfections.
Unfortunately, the parish model does not exist where I live now. Not every town or neighborhood has a Catholic church. My husband and I alternate between the cathedral and the "ethnic" Catholic church around the corner which traditionally served African-Americans. Both churches have their good points. But neither seems to be a true community because both draw from all over the county. The point CS Lewis makes is one that I needed to hear again, however. I am not in the church to be a connoisseur. I am there as a student and a servant. No matter where I find myself, I can learn more and love the people I find there.
Thanks be to God.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Grace Visible and Screwtape Revisited
Jan. 14, 2008
Here I am in wintry Wiconsin, where the sky and the ground match. Both are white. One is white with the falling snow and one with the fallen. And my sister lives in a little gray house near the railroad track with her husband and daughter, and grace and faith.
Actually, her daughter's name is Grace. And she is a beauty - almost six months old with the bluest eyes, fattest cheeks and pink skin. My sister is preparing to take the treatment for thyroid cancer. Nearly three years into their marriage, they have definitely had their share of difficulty. First a still birth, then a miscarriage. But then Grace. And my sister makes lists of things she is grateful for in spite of her difficulties. And her faith seems so strong still. The thyroid treatment is something to get through, like walking through a hallway. A difficult hallway but to a pleasant room on the other side. I can only wonder how I would respond to the situation. But she is handling it with grace and faith and it is my privilege to be here for one week to help out as needed. Of course, I miss my family and can't wait to see them on Saturday. But it is just a week. And I am blessed by Grace made visible.
Another blessing to me is the re-reading of that wonderful classic, Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I loaned out my two copies and haven't looked at it in a couple of years. A couple of passages have really jumped out at me and I quote them here. Keep in mind that the narrator is a devil and the Enemy to whom he refers is God:
"The Enemy allows this disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavour....In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing. The Enemy takes this risk because He has a curious fantasy of making all these disgusting little human vermin into what He calls His "free" lovers and servants -- "sons" is the word He uses.,.... He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits to any of the goals which He sets efore them: He leaves them to "do it on their own." And there lies our opportunity. But also remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."
And that is a much-needed reminder to me as my husband and I struggle with our transition to life in Virginia. It hasn't been fun and wonderful. Work has been hard. The Catholic culture in the area is minimal and very different than what we are used to. But the fact remains that it is an excellent opportunity for my husband, and there are Catholic churches in the area. Who said faith was going to easy? Not Christ nor any of his followers.
More on this great book later. But today I am grateful for C.S. Lewis, Grace, my sister, my family and my husband in particular.
Here I am in wintry Wiconsin, where the sky and the ground match. Both are white. One is white with the falling snow and one with the fallen. And my sister lives in a little gray house near the railroad track with her husband and daughter, and grace and faith.
Actually, her daughter's name is Grace. And she is a beauty - almost six months old with the bluest eyes, fattest cheeks and pink skin. My sister is preparing to take the treatment for thyroid cancer. Nearly three years into their marriage, they have definitely had their share of difficulty. First a still birth, then a miscarriage. But then Grace. And my sister makes lists of things she is grateful for in spite of her difficulties. And her faith seems so strong still. The thyroid treatment is something to get through, like walking through a hallway. A difficult hallway but to a pleasant room on the other side. I can only wonder how I would respond to the situation. But she is handling it with grace and faith and it is my privilege to be here for one week to help out as needed. Of course, I miss my family and can't wait to see them on Saturday. But it is just a week. And I am blessed by Grace made visible.
Another blessing to me is the re-reading of that wonderful classic, Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I loaned out my two copies and haven't looked at it in a couple of years. A couple of passages have really jumped out at me and I quote them here. Keep in mind that the narrator is a devil and the Enemy to whom he refers is God:
"The Enemy allows this disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavour....In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing. The Enemy takes this risk because He has a curious fantasy of making all these disgusting little human vermin into what He calls His "free" lovers and servants -- "sons" is the word He uses.,.... He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits to any of the goals which He sets efore them: He leaves them to "do it on their own." And there lies our opportunity. But also remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."
And that is a much-needed reminder to me as my husband and I struggle with our transition to life in Virginia. It hasn't been fun and wonderful. Work has been hard. The Catholic culture in the area is minimal and very different than what we are used to. But the fact remains that it is an excellent opportunity for my husband, and there are Catholic churches in the area. Who said faith was going to easy? Not Christ nor any of his followers.
More on this great book later. But today I am grateful for C.S. Lewis, Grace, my sister, my family and my husband in particular.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Rediscovering Prayer
Jan. 6, 2007
I did not make any New Year's resolutions this year, but have begun recommitting myself to prayer in the New Year. I think it actually began on New Year's Day -- which is a holy day, the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. That night I said the Rosary and every day since I have said the Rosary, even if it is 11:30 p.m. when I remember to do it. I feel like a person walking in the desert who has happened upon a stream of fresh water. And I wonder why I ignored that source of strength and refreshment so long.
My very first post on this blog was about the Rosary. It is truly the source of my conversion as I said it almost daily during my mother's illness in 1998.
When I had Olivia in 1999 ( and entered the Church), I didn't pray the Rosary daily, but I did pray throughout the day as any mother of a newborn might do. When I had two children under 2 years of age, my prayer life was a source of both spiritual refreshment and communion as I felt Jesus and Mary were my only constant companions in a life constrained and isolated by alternating napping and feeding schedules. And when my son's health prohibited me from going anywhere one winter, my prayer life increased again.
I am so much more myself and more serene when I pray, and the Rosary is my prayer of choice because it highlights all of the major points of Christ's life and Mary's interaction with them. It helps me to see Christ in others, and it helps me to see that Mary is truly a model for all mothers and women.
Last night, I saw something on television about the Liturgy of the Hours. I know nothing about that except it is the prayer of the Church, and the priests say it. But after Vatican II, lay people were also encouraged to say it, I think. I plan to try to learn more about that and to continue my commitment to prayer especially as I prepare to go to Wisconsin to help my sister.
I did not make any New Year's resolutions this year, but have begun recommitting myself to prayer in the New Year. I think it actually began on New Year's Day -- which is a holy day, the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. That night I said the Rosary and every day since I have said the Rosary, even if it is 11:30 p.m. when I remember to do it. I feel like a person walking in the desert who has happened upon a stream of fresh water. And I wonder why I ignored that source of strength and refreshment so long.
My very first post on this blog was about the Rosary. It is truly the source of my conversion as I said it almost daily during my mother's illness in 1998.
When I had Olivia in 1999 ( and entered the Church), I didn't pray the Rosary daily, but I did pray throughout the day as any mother of a newborn might do. When I had two children under 2 years of age, my prayer life was a source of both spiritual refreshment and communion as I felt Jesus and Mary were my only constant companions in a life constrained and isolated by alternating napping and feeding schedules. And when my son's health prohibited me from going anywhere one winter, my prayer life increased again.
I am so much more myself and more serene when I pray, and the Rosary is my prayer of choice because it highlights all of the major points of Christ's life and Mary's interaction with them. It helps me to see Christ in others, and it helps me to see that Mary is truly a model for all mothers and women.
Last night, I saw something on television about the Liturgy of the Hours. I know nothing about that except it is the prayer of the Church, and the priests say it. But after Vatican II, lay people were also encouraged to say it, I think. I plan to try to learn more about that and to continue my commitment to prayer especially as I prepare to go to Wisconsin to help my sister.
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